NURS 6052-Grief and Final Reflections Discussion

Saying 1: Edgar N. Jackson “You and Your Grief” GRIEF is… Grief is the intense emotion that floods life when a person’s inner security system is shattered by an acute loss, usually associated with the death of someone important in his/her life. In more personal terms, grief is a young widow who must find a way to bring up her three children, alone. Grief is the angry reaction of a man so filled with shocked uncertainty and confusion that he strikes out at the nearest person. Grief is the little old lady who goes to the funeral of a stranger and does some unfinished business of her own feelings by crying her eyes out there; she is weeping for herself, for the event she is sure will come, and for which she has so little help in preparing herself. Grief is a mother walking daily to a nearby cemetery to stand quietly alone for a few moments before she goes on about the tasks of the day; she knows that part of her is in the cemetery, just as part of her is in her daily work.

Grief is the deep sympathy one person has for another when he wants to do all he can to help resolve a tragic experience. Grief is the silent, knifelike terror and sadness that comes a hundred times a day, when you start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Grief is the emptiness that comes when you eat alone after eating with another for years. Grief is the desperate longing for another whose loss you cannot learn to endure. Grief is teaching yourself how to go to bed without saying good night to the one who has died. Grief is the helpless wishing that things were different when you know they are not and never will be again. Grief is a whole cluster of adjustments, apprehensions that strike life in its forward progress and make it difficult to reorganize and redirect the energies of life.

Grief is always more than sorrow. Bereavement is the event in personal history that triggers the emotion of grief Mourning is the process by which the powerful emotion is slowly and painfully brought under control. But when doctors speak of grief they are focusing on the raw feelings that are at the center of a whole process that engages the person in adjusting to changed circumstances. They are speaking of the deep fears of the mourner, of his prospects of loneliness, and of the obstacles he must face as he finds a new way of living.

Saying 2: Larry Anderson, Seattle P.I. Columnist “There is a terrible craving. Insatiable, never ending. It’s like that that feeling of being hungry for something but not knowing what it is. But this is deeper, more pervasive, more elusive. But I think I know what it is, it’s a craving for Margaret” Saying 3: C.S. Lewis, “A Grief Observed” “Grief and pain are the price we humans have to pay for the love and total commitment we have for another person. The more we love, the more we are hurt when we lose the object of our love. But if we are honest with ourselves, would we have it any other way?”

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Saying 4: Author unknown The agony is so great And yet I will stand it. Had I not loved so very much I would not hurt so much. But goodness knows, I will not Want to diminish that precious love By one fraction of an ounce. I will hurt, and I will be grateful to the hurt For it bears witness to The depth of our meanings. And for that I will be eternally grateful. Saying 5: William A Miller “When Going to Pieces Holds You Together” “Grief is an integral part of the process and experience of life. No human being exists who is immune to loss and the resultant dynamics of grief.

As a matter of fact, to a lesser or greater degree, loss and grief are virtually an every-day occurrence for most of us.” Saying 6: Nina Petrulius – grief counselor “The grief process is a rite of passage. It is a time to bid farewell to the past and open oneself to the coming future. It helps us to let go of what is no longer with us, to come to terms with what was and more on.” Saying 7: Stephen Levine “Who Dies” “We are all in grief. All have experienced loss. Even if your loved ones are still alive, there is a place within of disappointment and loss because we live in a world where everything changes.”

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Saying 8: David Whyte, “The Well of Grief”

THE WELL OF GRIEF Those who will not slip beneath

the still surface on the well of grief turning downward through its black water

to the place we cannot breathe Will never know the source from which we drink,

the secret Water, cold and clear nor find in the darkness glimmering

the small round coins thrown by those who wished

for something else. Saying 9: Scott Peck, “People of the Lie” “It is often the most spiritually healthy and advanced among us who are called on to suffer in ways more agonizing than anything experienced by the more ordinary… Conversely, it is the unwillingness to suffer emotional pain that lies at the very root of emotional illness. Those who fully experience depression, doubt, confusion, and despair may be infinitely more healthy than those who are generally certain, complacent, and self-satisfied.

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The denial of suffering is, in fact, a better definition of illness than its acceptance.” Saying 10: Washington Irving “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.” Saying 11: Howard Thurman “Meditations of the Heart”

I share with you the agony of your grief, The anguish of your heart finds echo in my own.

I know I cannot enter all you feel Nor bear with you the burden of your pain;

I can but offer what my love does give: The strength of caring,

The warmth of one who seeks to understand The silent storm-swept barrenness of so great a loss. This I do in quiet ways, That on your lonely path You may not walk alone.

Grief and Final Reflections Discussion

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Saying 12: Eda LeShan, “On Living Your Life” “When someone dies whom I love, I allow my grief all the room it needs. Great waves of pain wash over me. When it subsides, I don’t try to shut it off. After a while the sharpest anguish softens, the waves of pain occur less frequently, and I go on with my life, never trying to deny the terrible hole left in my universe by my loss. Through this process of mourning, all the good memories begin to flow back and fill my life, and finally I find I’m a better person, doing more good in the world because the loved one is now a part of me.” Saying 13: Renee ‘Duvall “If I could bear the burden of your sorrow, I would.

If I could, but for a minute, take away your pain and make it mine, I would. If I could tell you “there’s a reason for this”, I would. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that your life has been interrupted this way, how sorry I am that I can’t shelter you

from this. But I want you to know I’m here if you want to talk, if you need to cry, if you can find comfort in sharing silence Grief and Final Reflections Discussion